擦肩而过 ...

i am extremely down tonight ...
it seems like it became a habit or my daily routine to check your facebook and friendster profile...i keep telling myself that this is really silly to do this, i shouldnt try to force myself to forget about you by checking ur profile and looking at the photos that u took with other gals ... by hurting myself and making myself to realise the fact that i am not the one that you will spend the rest of your life with ... this is absolutely unhealthy ... i think i realised this tonight, i wish to escape from this situation, but i found that i am trapped inside and couldnt come out ...
down ... in progress .... continue ...

众里寻他千百度 ...

well, whenever people asked me what kind of bf i am looking for, i told them that i wanna find someone that i love, there is chemistry and sparks, and the most important thing is, a person that i admire him ...
it has been more than 1 year since my last broke off. i once thought that i will never meet another person that i will love him so much like my last bf ... but obviously i am wrong ...
i know this guy for 2 years from my last job ... even i left my previous company, we still keep in touch with each other ... we met each other again last night after work ...
so we went to a pub called long bar, it is actually a pub at raffles hotel ... i like the atmosphere there ... it is so relax and haha mmmm i have to say, it is romantic ... frankly speaking, this is the 1st time i been to a pub ... and i dun drink ... so he suggested me to have a singapore slinge ... coz i said i dun wanna any bitter drink ... haha ...
then we just talked ... sometimes i talked a lot, sometimes he talked a lot ... i think i was a little drunk or high, coz i never think i can be so talkative in front of a guy that obviously showing his interest in me :P anyway, he found out that i was drunk, so he ordered another drink for me ... coca cola ... i said no, i dun wanna, nobody go pub and drink coke? haha .... he said, dun worry, i can pretend i was drinking brandy and nobody can tell ... and he forced me to eat those finger food, he said he dun wanna me to get drunk :)
he was right, after so much finger food that he fed me and the coke ... i am much more sober ... but the night was still so beautiful ...band is singing, there r some people dancing, outside was raining ... and we just sit there listen to the music, c people dance ... and enjoy the mmmm "weird" atmosphere between 2 of us ...
i dun know how end up i was leaning on him ... and we were talking .... i still remember, he said, he knows a lot of things ... and i challenged him haha ... well, sometimes he can answer, sometimes he cant ... i asked him a lot of history questions and i said proudly to him, my history is good ... haha ... so his turn to challenge me with all his history questions ... that is the 1st time i found a guy that can talk something i know with me ... and i know he knows a lot of things, much more than i can imagine ... we talked about history, science, phycology, properties, ecconomy ... cant remember already ...
i still remember we left the pub at 12.00a.m ...it was still raining ... and outside the bar, there is a balcony, we just standed there ... talk and talk and talk again ... till now i still can remember clearly every word that he said to me ... can never forget that night ...
we cant find a cab at cityhall area, and we just walked around that area ... all the cab were hired ... and we managed to hop on a bus to orchard ... there were 3 couples in the bus ... it was a very nice feeling taking bus together with him ... guess he never take a bus b4 ... hahaha ... we stop at orchard ...trying to get a cab there ... i told him, if we cant get a cab, he has to carry me back home ... haha ...so after 20 minutes walking along the road ... we finally c a cab which is empty ... really wish we can walked along the road like that forever ...
i can never forget that night ... this is the 1st time i found a guy which is so near to my heart ... he understanded everything i said ... his hug is so warm ...

new job, new challenges ...

it has been quite a while since my last update to my blog ... coz i am in a transition period from a job to another job ...
i was thinking just now, i was so unbear to leave my previous company coz all my colleagues there are so nice ... and now i am so enjoying my new job and new colleagues ... if this is how a human behave, then i was wondering why it has been 1 year plus but i can never get rid of u out from my mind?
new job is nice, and challenging... hope i can pick it up quickly ...

天下无不散的筵席 ...

a lot of things in my mind, but dun know how to put it ... so just drag and drag and drag, and finally today i sit down and tidy up my mind to write it down ...

been thinking i am just alone at my current working place, not close to most of the colleagues, i am not treated as part of the team, but after i tendered my resignation, then only i know my accumptions were all wrong ...

so many of them told me they were sad when they knew i am leaving ... so many farewell lunches to attend to ... and suddenly i feel so unbear to leave ... but it is not the ppl that caused my leave, it is the work that caused it ... just a letter to all my dear colleagues, and i wanna tell u all, i will definitely miss u all ...

Hi All,

Today is my last day at XXXX. The biggest gain when I was working here is to know all of you, and it is really sad to say goodbye. For sure I will miss my time at XXXX, my colleagues and my friends here .
No matter where I go, I hope we will still keep in touch with each other. Below is my contact details. Please feel free to give me a call or email me for any reason.

All the best to everybody ....


rgds,

to pl ...

dear pl, u know, today is the 1st time i tears again since he left me ... because of the song that u sent me ... dun know why u suddenly wanna me to listen to this song, but while listening, my tears just dropping even without my knowing ... it was in the mrt and everybody was looking at me, and then only i found out that my face was full with my tears ...
victor said this song got some hidden meanings that u hope i can understand, but pl, u r my very very very good friend, i trust u a lot and i believe u a lot, but my heart is in pieces and not complete anymore, i cant response anything ... suddenly make me think of this, maybe u r a handler that sending a request and waiting a response from me, but because system is hang at my side and since i cant response anything, now ur request is in message wait ...just cancel the request pl, u worth a girl that a thousand times better than me ... and no matter where i go, u r always in my must contact list :)
really appreciate ur song and u know, it really touch my heart ... i will always remember it ...

李圣杰 - 擦肩而过

我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危 付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过 你
听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

to be continued ...

你知不知到, 我好爱你 ...

last night tried to sleep early, but i just cant get to sleep. so went online again, i did something silly.
i googled ur name, and surprisingly i saw ur name appeared in a lot of websites. then i found ur blog that u created in your early 20s when u were pursuing ur study at oz. the blog was last updated till 11 september 2002, and u never update it anymore. then i just spent the whole night finished reading all ur blog's entries.
actually i should have discover this blog earlier. if i found this blog earlier, i will know that u r u and u never change. it is just that i hope love can change u but it was a wrong expectation :). nevertheless, the only thing i can be very sure is, not matter when i found this blog, i will still fall in love with u, even though we truly not suitable for each other and destined to fall apart in the end. it is a fate to me i think ... but u know wht, I NEVER REGRET to love you, to give up everything that i like but u dislike, become the person the u hope me to become to ...
dear dear, i know we cant be together anymore coz i know not matter how hard we try, we will end up to hurt each other only ... plz be happy and u know, even though we r not together anymore, but i have successfully to keep a complete you in my heart ...
share with u a song that really touch my heart and i really like the lyrics a lot ...

Title: Don McLean - Vincent

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now

to be continued ...

i just hope u r happy ...

i had a very nice shopping trip at KL ... though didnt buy much things ...
3 days never login to facebook, and i cant wait to login to it today just wanna to find out how have u been these few days ... at least there is a way to let me know that u r still doing fine, then i will feel happy already ...
but login to the facebook, found that u r not longer listed as "in a relationship." u said u r doing ur best but seems not enough ... well i am not happy when i saw all these, just really feel shock coz i thought she will be the one after ur 10 past relationship ... then finally i know wht does that means "even though the person who is able to give u happiness is not me, but u know, i just wish u r happy"
dear dear ... take good care and u always have my best wishes ...

幸福看起来那么简单, 眼看就要有了,为什么突然变得那么遥不可及呢...